Actual Exam Answer

From eBaum's World.


I like how it looks like the dude actually tried to figure out the answer before deep-sixing it.

Mandelbrot Sets Are Cool

All the gorgeous patterns in this sequence were generated by a mathematical algorithm called a Mandelbrot Set. The YouTube blurb for this sequence states:

"If the final frame were the size of your screen, the full set would be larger than the known universe."

Amazing..



By the way, I bought an incredible screen saver/visualization software package called G-Force Platinum that has some gorgeous patterns in it similar to the Mandelbrot ones. You can download a free evaluation here.

Yo! My Name Is Mo!

This is a voicemail I got on my work number. I've edited out the callback number and the vulgarities.

A Classic

"Never Say Never" by Romeo Void...

I Don't Know Why This Is So Funny

But it is...

This

Too Cold

By UK rapper Roots Manuva

Faksimile (In the Vivid Present Tense)

So my plane lands in Vienna this morning and when I get to the hotel at 9am my room is not ready. Since I have three hours to kill, I decide to stow my baggage and stroll on over to the Albertina Museum, because I saw ads for a Picasso exhibit. When I get there, I'm disappointed to find out that the Picasso exhibit has moved on, replaced by a Warhol exhibit. So I run through the Warhol exhibit and then proceed to the permanent collection.

Imagine my surprise when I turn the corner and find actual hand drawings by Michaelangelo. And there in the next room are incredible ink works by Albrecht Durer. I was so impressed I had to send a text message back to Rob (at 3am his time). And then in the next room there's Egon Schiele. I sneaked a photo and MMS'ed it back to Rob.

So I continue through the museum's collections, thinking how serendipitous my hotel room situation. And then, as I'm reading a plaque for one of the paintings, I notice, in very small print at the bottom, the word, in German, of course, 'Faksimile'. Weird, I think to myself in the vivid-present tense. Then I notice the painting next to it is a Faksimile. As I stroll back through the exhibit, as a matter of fact, every single one of the paintings is a Faksimile. I guess I hadn't noticed because almost all the paintings are watercolors and ink, and because I'm an art dolt.

So I head back down to the information desk at the museum entrance and ask the nice octogenarian manning the booth about the Faksimiles. Oh yes, she says in her German accent, they are all copies - the actual works are too precious to hang in the gallery.

Thank you Albertina. I guess I can blow a few Euro in your giftshop and then charge admission to my apartment...

Sheesh.

(By the way, I hope "Ihr Blog wurde erfolgreich veröffentlicht" means "Your blog has successfully been published." I don't see a button in Austrian Blogger for switching to English.)

Get Me Some Sunglasses!

"I'm going to start the sentence, then dramatically pause while I put on my sunglasses, then BAM! - finish the sentence." -- David Caruso

"It's Brilliant!" -- CSI Miami Director

Weird Search Phrases

Our hosting provider has an online report on how much bandwidth we've used, where our site visitors are coming from, etc. One of the categories is a list of search keyphrases people used in search engines to find our site. These are always interesting. Apparently, this month, people have found gieg.net by searching the Internet for things such as:

• airplanes
• pictures of paperwhites
• picture of little girl and bunnies

For real.

I Would Rather Gouge My Own Eyeballs Out With A Dull Butter Knife Than Go To The Van Brunt Post Office In Brooklyn

or "Van Brunt Station is the Worst Post Office on the Planet"
or "How I Spent My Saturday Morning."

Let it be said: I love almost everything about my neighborhood except for my local post office.

We have to get expedited passports for Steph and the kids due to a potential trip to Ireland in February. It takes two weeks, so we're running out of time. So this week I spent a lot of time getting together all the required documentation, filling out the applications, getting passport photos, etc. This ain't cheap either - four expedited passports will cost about five hundred smackaroos.

So I get all my crap together and check the State Department website to find out where I can apply, preferably on the weekend, since the kids will have to apply in person. Luckily, my local post office (Van Brunt Station) accepts applications as follows:



It's in the sixties this morning, so I hate to drag us all down to the post office, but it has to be done. It should also be noted that I dread going to Van Brunt Station anyway. The customer service is notoriously terrible there. They don't know how to manage a queue, so there are usually two or three nebulous groups of confused people waiting to go to mysteriously unmarked windows for services unknown. If you are lucky, you can get through one of the lines in 30-45 minutes. But that time is spent smashed into a smallish room with dozens of other rightfully angry and impatient Brooklynites. When you finally make it to the window, you are greeted by someone who must have just been kicked right in the face by somebody who looks exactly like you. The thing I don't understand is how someone can be so terribly angry and still move slower than molasses in January...

(This is not to even mention the mail delivery problems. Almost weekly, I get some mail that belongs to my neighbors. If a box is too big to put in our mailbox, the mailman leaves a note to come to Van Brunt, where you'll wait in one of those lines for an hour only to find out your package has been misplaced. Finally, if you subscribe to GQ magazine, like me, and the cover includes anything like a bikini, you can forget about that issue making it to your mailbox. Bottom line: If you want us to get it, don't mail it.)

So, back to the story, we get to Van Brunt about 11:20, which is later than I'd hoped, but still well ahead of the 12pm closing time. Miraculously, we make it to the front of the line at 12pm. As I push my well-organized set of application documentation across the desk, the lady snaps "The Passport Window Is Closed! We stop accepting passport applications at 11:30!"

......

Three babies, 40 minutes, a week of preparation, and now this. I sputter something about the web site hours and three kids and why am I the victim of such a vengeful God, to no avail. When I ask her why the hours are different than what the State Department says, I get this very helpful response: "I have no idea."

Needless to say, there is nothing in heaven or on earth that I can do to change this situation. The edict has been handed down from high atop the Postal Service Employee's throne and I must deal with it. This means that now I have to keep the kids out of school one day next week to apply for a passport. And you can bet your booty it won't be done at Van Brunt.

Okay I'm finished venting.

30 years later...

...and I still remember this shopping list.

The Real Napolean Dynamite

Gerald Ford is Dead

Tom Brokaw breaks the news.